Girlfriend is nervous about guy's girl best friend, her continues to prioritize plans with best friend even after girlfriend expresses concern: 'I feel like she's blaming me for something I never did, and she's treating me like the bad guy'

Author image for Baiz Hoen
Baiz Hoen
Feb 13, 2025 11:00 PM EST

Picture this: You've just started seeing someone new. It's going great; you're having fun together, but so far, it's just been the two of you. You haven't really gotten a chance to see each other in your respective worlds, and you both feel like it's time to take the next step. What does that mean? Well, simply, it's time to meet each other's friends. 

Meeting your partner's friends can be as big or as little of a deal as you want it to be. If your partner is friends with their roommate and you've already spent the night, then that's one in the books already. However, meeting the friend group, especially if The Best Friend is a part of the group, can surely be nerve-wracking. You want to make a good impression, and you also want to get a good idea of what people your partner chooses to surround themselves with. It's a big test for both of you! One man's girlfriend was feeling ready to meet his friends, but he wasn't sure if he was ready to make that step yet, especially when his girlfriend expressed some insecurity about his best friend. Was this guy right to keep his girlfriend separate from his buddies for this long? Read on to decide.

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    euter chey
    via Max Harlynking
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    "AITAH for the way I handled my GF's issues with my best friend?"

    My GF and I are still dealing with this issue, and she's been having limited contact with me because she still believes I cheated on her with my best friend. (When I obviously haven't and would never even plan to)
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    My GF and I have been together for about 5 months. I have a best friend, Emma, who I've known for 8 years. My GF has always known about my friendship with Emma, but for context, it's important to note that it created an obstacle early into our relationship. There was a misunderstanding where my GF was concerned that I was always going to put Emma before her and by extent, our relationship. I was able to clear things up, my GF apologized, and I thought we moved on from that issue.
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    Ever since then, my GF has been taking a more open interest in my friendships. She's always wanted to meet them, especially Emma. I've been having bi-weekly hangouts with just my friends, but I never took my GF along. I just felt like it was too early to introduce her to my friend group. And after
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    her to my friend group. And after our argument about Emma's birthday party, I was hesitant to bring my GF to a setting where Emma would be. I felt like I needed more time to make sure my GF wasn't going to stir up drama among my friends or something similar. I also prefer to keep my friendships and relationships separate, at least as much as possible.
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    However, the perfect opportunity eventually popped up. Emma has always loved planning and hosting parties, and she asked me last year if I was willing to lend my apartment for a New Year's party.
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    Changing plans and calling your girlfriend boring? Sounds like a walking red flag...

    I brought up the idea with my GF first thing, but she was adamant that we stick to our initial plans. My GF originally wanted to have a small celebration with just us two where we'd watch the fireworks show. I told her that she shouldn't settle for a comparatively boring evening, when she could have a much more fun and lively experience at a party. I reminded
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    experience at a party. I reminded her that she's been wanting to meet my friends, and she'd finally be able to do that at this party. Finally, my GF relented.
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    Emma asked if I could be the co- host and help her with the party planning. It was my apartment, so of course I agreed. A couple of days before New Year's eve, I made plans with Emma to go shopping for party supplies and decor. I told my GF about this, and she surprised me by appearing to be 100% enthusiastic for the party.
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    She even said she was looking forward to meeting Emma. She suggested that she'd come along during our shopping trip to use it as an opportunity to finally meet my best friend, as well as help with the party.
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    I told her that I haven't spent time with Emma 1-on-1 for a very long time, so I'd prefer it to stay that way. I said to not worry because she'd be able to meet Emma at the party. My GF then asked if she could come on by to help us. decorate my apartment. I said no.
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    My GF then asked if she could come over after we finished decorating, but I said no again. My GF grew upset at this point and kept asking me if there was a deeper reason why I didn't want her to come over when only Emma was there. We had a small argument about it.
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    I might've screwed up by telling my GF that she can't just insert herself into every part of my social life and I'm allowed to have an entire day with just my friend. I get that maybe she really was just trying to get to know Emma, but I wasn't fully ready to trust her yet. I was concerned that my GF would use it as an opportunity to pick a fight with her. And I didn't
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    fight with her. And I didn't appreciate her not-so-subtle way of suggesting I wanted to cheat on her with Emma. I really did just want to have a single hangout with only Emma because most of my hangouts are either with my friend group or with my GF.
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    My GF eventually apologized and said that she was going to trust me. To her credit, she didn't drive over and didn't even call or text on the day Emma and I hung out. I did have a lot of fun and it was nice to just catch up with Emma. After we
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    just catch up with Emma. After we finished decorating, I ordered takeout for us and we had dinner together. I wasn't initially aware of how much time passed, but when Emma left, I checked my phone and it was a little past midnight. I noticed that my GF sent me a message around 11 pm asking if I was okay.
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    This is just disrespectful.

    I was very exhausted at that point and figured I'd get ready for bed and reply to my GF in the morning. This was apparently my second mistake.
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    I woke up to a number of texts and missed calls from my GF. She expressed how she could no longer ignore how suspicious it was that I kept barring her from coming over. She tried to ignore it and pass it off as paranoia for my sake, but the fact that I didn't even message her all day, not even after Emma left, made her feel like she was right to be uncomfortable all along. She made some sarcastic joke about me wanting to focus all my attention on my "date."
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    She point blank asked if Emma and I slept together that evening, and/or if she stayed the night, hence why I didn't even reply to her 11pm text. I responded that she was insane for suggesting that, and that Emma didn't even stay the night. She asked when Emma left, and I told her it was around midnight. This just made
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    around midnight. This just made her upset, and she asked if shopping and decorating really did take us all day and well into the night. I told her no; that we finished everything by the early evening (around 4 pm) and afterwards, we just had dinner and talked. My GF was still unconvinced.
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    My GF ended up skipping the party, and ever since then, she's been cold. At one point, she even asked for some space to deal with this situation. The last I've heard from her, she's still in the headspace that I cheated on her with Emma and am lying about it, but "doesn't know where to go from here."
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    I feel like she's blaming me for something I never did, and she's treating me like the bad guy. I don't get how I'm even the bad guy to begin with. I know I'm not a perfect boyfriend, but I've apologized for my mistakes in the past. I just don't think this should be considered one of them.
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    Commenters thought this man was 100% in the wrong.

    Cheezburger Image 10464894464
    via Hannah Busing
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    YTA you obviously put Emma's comfort over your girlfriends many many times. She should dump you, and you will never keep long term gurlfriend with your attitude. Even if you change, it is too late. Your current relationship is fundamentally broken with no hope for recovery.
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    YTA Your gf told you she was uncomfortable with your best friend and was scared you would put her above your relationship So while you had plans for NY with your gf you picked Emma's plans
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    Your gf wanted to meet the girl she's suspicious of You refuse You have a date day with your best friend and don't communicate at all with your girlfriend Honestly you're a sh boyfriend you did everything. wrong in this situation
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    A lot of people weren't convinced this man wasn't involved with his best friend.

    Your girlfriend is right to think you cheated h II think you cheated and are just denying it ... you didn't communicate well at all why she constantly tried to communicate with you
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    My husband and I both have friends of the opposite gender and we also have boundaries and communication you have neither
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    YTA sure sounds like you're sleeping with Emma. You did everything to out her in front of your girlfriend. Instead of having them meet one on one before the party which would have been much worse. You wanted a date with Emma and did everything to keep your girlfriend away as you wanted to be alone with her. God you're an absolute moron. I hope she dumps you
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    YTA. Dude how can you be so dense? It's perfectly fine to want to spend time with your friend one-on-one. Usually
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    You know when it's not fine? When your SO hasn't met that person and has expressed feeling insecure. When you canceled plans with them and they gracefully accepted the change in favour of a more socially focused event. When YOU SPEND THE DAY WITH SAID FRIEND AND DON'T EVEN BOTHER SENDING ONE TEXT.
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    Of course she thinks you cheated. You f'd up.
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    YTA, I would never date someone like you and neither should any other woman. Just start dating Emma and call it a day considering it's glaringly obvious that you will always put her over any romantic relationship you have with another woman.
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    YTA. 5 months is too soon to introduce her to your friends? Of course you care about Emma more than your GF or your relationship. You're are SO sneaky and suspicious. You can't even see it. And lack complete empathy. You called her boring too. You're a boyfriend. She deserves way better.
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Dating-Relationships insecure aita bad boyfriend reddit story relationships girl best friend reddit thread Reddit relationship drama
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